Would Jesus Be Tweeting Today?

Now that the Pope has tweeted, and Obama has tweeted, the question comes to mind— would Jesus tweet? Probably not. Jesus never wrote down anything in his own hand, so it’s a reasonable assumption that he was illiterate. This would help explain why effective widespread communication was never a priority for The Savior of All Mankind. According to the apostle, John, Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” This wording is concise enough to fit on a 140 character tweet, and the clear message is that anyone who doesn’t except Jesus as their savior will rot in hell for all eternity, making this perhaps the most important piece of information in the life of any human being. This should have been a big deal then, and it would be a big deal now.

Even before Twitter, the Son of God with, supposedly, infinite wisdom and power had the capability to make sure that every person knew the rules of the game when it came to the salvation of their each individual immortal soul. Don’t ask me how he could have done this. I don’t have infinite wisdom and power, and never pretended that I did. But Jesus was supposed to be better than me. So how good was Jesus at communicating? Now keep in mind that accepting Jesus is the ONLY way (according to John) to have everlasting life in heaven with God. This information should have been considered vitally important, but Jesus simply relied on a twelve man team of followers to spread the message around the world. Supposedly Jesus could see into the future, so he should have known that the population of the planet would more than triple in the second half of the twentieth century. Evidently, he thought that twelve guys were sufficient to get the message out to the additional five billion people when the time came for all of them to be “saved.”

I don’t know if Jesus was divine (whatever the hell that means). I only know that he was a lousy and ineffective communicator, based on his utter failure to reach his target demographic in the modern world. They say that Twitter reaches more than 200 million tweeters today. This would be a help to Jesus in spreading his “believe in me” message, but it still wouldn’t get the job done. Of course, there’s always the probability that John just made the whole thing up.